As we find ourselves deep in December, the season of holiday stress and complex family dynamics feels particularly relevant, doesn't it? Holidays have this almost magical ability to amplify our emotions, so if you are feeling anxious, frustrated, or just wanting to hide under a blanket until January, you are not alone. Let's unpack these feelings and explore some strategies to make this season a little less stressful.

Holidays act like emotional amplifiers, turning the volume up on everything. Our routines fall apart, yet we are expected to function as if everything is normal. There is a certain pressure to appear cheerful and happy, even when it is challenging. Family members may voice their opinions loudly, travel can become exhausting, financial burdens grow heavier, and old family dynamics often resurface. All these elements can make us feel overwhelmed.

Recognizing Family Roles

Family roles have a sneaky way of resurfacing during holiday gatherings. The peacemaker, the one always trying to maintain harmony; the "disappearer" who escapes to avoid drama; the over-giver, tirelessly working to make everything perfect; the boundary pusher, famous for their invasive questions; or even the childhood role we slip back into. Recognizing these patterns is a vital step in managing holiday stress and avoiding inevitable triggers.

Understanding Triggers

Triggers are more about our history than the current moment. Being around people who shaped our early beliefs or revisiting places tied to past stress can be challenging, not to mention the physical exhaustion and sugar rushes common during the holidays. A trigger is just your body communicating with you, so it is important to prepare emotionally.

Think of emotional preparation as a necessary warm-up. Reflect on what typically stresses you, what makes you feel good, and who drains your energy. Plan your responses to potential triggers, such as weight comments, or invasive questions about your personal life. Naming these issues ahead of time can help you manage them when they arise.

Setting Boundaries

Have a plan for boundaries beforehand. Phrases like "I'm not discussing that today" or "Let's talk about something else" can be your go-to responses. Build in small breaks for yourself during gatherings to alleviate stress. Remember, taking breaks is not rude; it is survival.

When faced with boundary pushers, maintain a light and confident stance. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your life choices. Short and simple responses work best, and it is okay to step away from the conversation if needed.

Redefining Your Holiday

Much stress originates internally from trying to achieve an unrealistic perfect holiday. Allow yourself the freedom to redefine what your holiday looks like. Consider shorter visits, smaller gatherings, ordering meals instead of cooking, or skipping events altogether. Explore new traditions and evaluate what truly matters to you without the pressure to please others.

Considering these factors, stress that arises before or during gatherings can be effectively managed through grounding techniques and thoughtful self-reflection. Remember, you are not responsible for fixing everything, and your well-being deserves attention.

Take these suggestions to heart and hopefully you will find your holiday season not only manageable but enjoyable. Wishing you a joy filled and peaceful holiday season!